christine <$BlogItemDateTime$>

dear diary..

tonight will be my last night in new zealand until december. my last night in my dear room. im gonna miss everything so much. today i went back to howick college to see my friends one last time.. my best friend was so sweet.. her letter and present was just so sweet.. when i had to leave, me, angela, and sandra stood together. we all didnt leave. we just stood there. i didnt know what to say. it just hurt. they were the people that stood by me despite what happened to me. how often can you find such true friends? i looked at sandra. she's one great gal. we hugged one last time and she left. then there was angela. i said bye to her for now, and 15 mins later i had to return to her class and give her back her book. then, we said our real goodbye. it was so sad. after she went back into class, i started crying. as i sat on the bus, i flipped back into my autograph bk and saw what angela had written: "dont be sad, because when one goes, another will come". i didnt get to meet some friends i made appointments to meet them. we couldnt find each other. courtney, i hope you get the lip-gloss i sent from the counselling office. omg, i cant believe im actually crying again. the whole me moving thing just makes me so sad. i hate leaving friends. especially ones so true.

sandra. i bet you're gonna read this. i m gonna miss you lots. tell angela that too. oh man. i cant believe im leaving.

it's like..nz is my place of rest. when i come here, i have peace. in a way. i used to run everyday at this route near my house. today i went back there to take a few pictures of the place that gave me peace. it's like..everyday i went there to run. walk at first, then i would run. it's like everything's quiet...and you only hear the sound of your shoes along the pavement, and the sound of the insects and animals in the park. you finally have time to think. the sun shines down upon your head, or if you're lucky, it's shady with a little wind. i remember, when i cried, i would go back to the path, and collapse onto the grass and just cry for hours. i dont have such a place in singapore. if i had to cry, i would just have to cry in my room, and within a few seconds, i'd be back in reality. in nz, i had time. time to think. time to sort out my feelings and thoughts. im not complaining about my singapore life now. i love it. dont get the wrong idea. and i hope nothing goes wrong too. so i wont have to cry in my room.

in nz, its like my friends are there. and i mean there. yes, they're online, they're on the phone, but they're really there. they're really there for you. actions speak louder than words.

angela. i really love your present. even though im back in sg, i still like it alot. its really cool. :) thanks for being so sweet. and your card too. it's so nice.

tonight is the last time i'll be going online in nz. the last time i go online on MY computer. the last time i leave the study room. the last time i sleep in my big bed. the last time ... so many things...

it always hurts to leave something behind. i hate thinking "the last time..." i'll be back in december. i'll be back.

i'll be going back to school on thursday. im going to miss nz alot. really. you would never know how much. but i do. and nz will always be my precious home too.