Saturday, April 30, 2005
christine <$BlogItemDateTime$>
dear diary..
yesterday was my english mid year exam.. mm.. next thursday its chinese.. so on thursday onwards, school stops for me. go to school, take the exam, then go home and study. or wherever. good. that way i have more time to study. last night i went swimming cos i was so stressed. i so badly need a break. so yeah. finding ways that relaxes me without wasting too much time. swimming. plus these days the weather is just so HOT. omg. i almost died coming home on fri. so hot. today the air is quite humid as well. i might go swimming downstairs later. i prefer to go a little into the night, around 8pm plus so that its not crowded like in the afternoon.. hate going swimming when there's so many ppl here.. when i sit down, there's bound to be some children yelling and jumping and splashing water into my eyes. plus its so hot. i wanna go when the water and weather is cool. people should enjoy nature more. go outside. take a deep breath. enjoy the breeze. enjoy the wind on your face. blowing in your hair. indulge. relax. it does you good. mm..my someone is so sweet.. kissed me.. :X .. hahaha.. so caring and sweet.. after exams we must take neoprints ! =P
past few days i've been pretty sick.. missed school last fri, mon, and on tues i only went to school to do the bio mock exam which was 2 and 3 period.. after that i was so dizzy i had to go home.. i had to drag myself to go to school on wed, thursday and of cos, the exam day, friday. on wednesday it was total horror. by the time i finished school i was so dead. i smsed my dad to pick me up, but he was playing golf at the club and said he'll be at my school in about 25 mins but that was way too long so he agreed to let me take a cab home. during the cab ride, i closed my eyes and tried not to focus on how the taxi was moving and turning. i almost thew up despite the fact that i hadnt eaten anything and there would be nothing to throw up .
why was i feeling so sick?
my head was spinning and there was a constant pain for over 3 days.. no matter what i did it was there. even after sleeping it would still be there. can u imagine having a really painful head and being dizzy for so long? oh man. as if that was not enough, i also kept having bad stomach aches and chest pains. these pains have been going on since i was in nz, so it was nothing new to me, but combined with my head, it was hell. my bad stomach aches dont last long, they attack swift and sudden.. the pain only lasts from 30 seconds to a minute or more, but the pain is unbearable. what i do is i just tense my body up, stop talking, close my eyes, and just focus on the pain going away. my chest pains just feel like there's something on my chest? weird feeling. during this period i also get shortness of breath really easy and i cant shout or run and have to take things slow. so what did i do the past few nights before my english exam? i slept earlier. much earlier than i used to sleep. i finally got to sleep at 1am the first night. the second night i slept at 12am. and finally, the night before the exam, i slept at 11.30pm. i was so happy! i felt a little better the next morning . =) thank goodness. a few nights ago, during my very bad headache, i was made to eat dinner and didnt have much appetite, but i tried anyway. as i bent over my food and tried to swallow it down, i only felt worse and almost threw up over my food. finally after awhile, i was able to eat it properly. i couldnt even walk to the toilet without wanting to faint. it was horrible. i felt so low, thinking that all my efforts for the exams were wasted since i was in this state, but after awhile, it wasnt so bad.
i went to the doctor yesterday, and she said i was pale and after weighing me and taking my height, told me i was underweight and told me to eat more. she said i would look better if i put on weight. omg. are u kidding. i almost died there and then. anyway. she said my chest pains hurt cos there's not enough blood going to my heart, just like i lack in iron which results in a lack of haemoglobin. she took a test for that as well and im under for the scale. so she told me to eat properly and get enough rest. cos i lack in haemoglobin, there's not enough oxygen going to my brain therefore i get shortness of breath and get dizzy so easily. it may also be caused by the weather. as for the reason why i feel so tired all the time is cos i dun eat regular meals. argh! and she told me to eat breakfast. i dont get it! i never eat breakfast! and i havent been eating properly for over a year! if that is so, why the sudden breakdown? why is it just before the exams my body breaks down? i found out why. in nz when i refused to eat, i still had enough rest. down here, when i dont eat and i mug for exams AND i dont get enough rest, i break. so i'll rest more. as long as he's there for me, im okay.
im feeling so damn hot now. just turned on the air-con. yes! air-con in the whole house. yay. later if i have time and energy i'll go swimming. i wanna cool off. for now, im watching the amazing race. i guess after blogging i'll go type in my bio summary notes and watch tv at the same time. head doesnt feel that good. but as long as i try to cool off and relax, im sure i'll be okay.
my mum went for an operation today. last night as i wrote her a take care note, i burst out crying. i suddenly felt like how badly i've been treating her. arguing with her over the slighest things. she came home just now. i was so scared. so worried. it suddenly dawned on me how much i care for her. i dont want to take her for granted again. she's my mum and i love her.
with loves; christine
4:41 PM
